The Morning After: Hollywood Divorce

When you draw the Chennedy Carter assignment

The Seattle Storm hanged on to beat the Atlanta Dream 93-92 on Thursday night, and one rookie has the WNBA abuzz coming out of the game.

Yes, Ezi Magbegor hit the first three-pointer of her WNBA career, leaving her only 1,116 short of breaking Diana Taurasi’s all-time record. With as quickly as Ezi is progressing, don’t be surprised if she surpasses that mark by her fourth season.

Breanna Stewart had a team-high 27 points and eight rebounds in the victory, while Jewell Loyd chipped in 20 points in what was a shaky shooting night.

The Storm simply didn’t have a solution for Chennedy Carter, who finished with 35 points. The Dream guard is undoubtedly the favorite to finish runner-up to Ezi in the 2020 Rookie of the Year race.

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The Morning After: ‘A Good Day’

The Seattle Storm improved to 2-0 with a comprehensive 90-66 win over the Minnesota Lynx.

Seattle took control in the third quarter, outscoring Minnesota 28-17.

Breanna Stewart posted her first double-double (18 points, 10 rebounds) of the young season. Sue Bird (16 points) was the only other player to score in double figures. Everybody who saw the court for Seattle made at least one field goal to underscore what was a balanced offensive showing.

The Lynx didn’t have that luxury, partially due to injuries. Karima Christmas-Kelly (ankle) and Lexie Brown (head) both left the game before it concluded.

Napheesa Collier, Damiris Dantas and Sylvia Fowles combined for 44 points, but Minnesota’s support beyond that was lacking.

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The Morning After: Bigger Than Before

The Seattle Storm opened the 2020 WNBA season with an 87-71 victory over the New York Liberty on Saturday.

Breanna Stewart and Sue Bird returned to the starting lineup after missing all of 2019. The WNBA also welcomed one of the most heavily hyped rookies in recent memory: Ezi Magbegor. Morgan Tuck’s Storm debut will have to wait as a knee injury kept her on the bench for the entirety of the 40 minutes.

In what might become the norm for her given her supporting cast, Sabrina Ionescu filled up the stat sheet but had a day to forget in her WNBA introduction. The Liberty as a team shot 34.8 percent from the field and 21.4 percent from beyond the arc.

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It Was All a Dream

Screen Shot 2019-05-25 at 3.59.22 PMI’ve written this post a dozen times in my head, attempting to craft the perfect way to grab the reader’s attention. Finally I said screw it, and this was the best I could come up with.

Being open with my emotions isn’t something that comes easily for me. For whatever reason, I’ve considered stoicism a virtue and vulnerability a weakness, at least for the purposes of my internal psyche. Also, you can’t be hurt if you don’t allow yourself to feel things in the first place. (this is where I’d insert the guy pointing to his head meme)

Anybody who knows me would probably find a level of irony in me pouring my heart out to complete strangers, as I’m about to right now. Of course, if they saw the site’s analytics, they’d know nobody is going to read this anyway.

At least typing it all out feels cathartic on some level.

Note: This will eventually be about basketball, I promise.

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WWP Film Series: Double Teamed

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Go team!

Maybe the 2020 WNBA season starts, maybe it doesn’t. We here at Witty Weather Pun are nothing if not adaptable. That’s why we launched the Witty Weather Pun Film Series, where we break down the skills of the antagonists and any important ancillary characters in what we deem to be basketball moves. Today, we’re examining Double Teamed.

OK. Can we take a moment to ponder how Disney expected us to think these two were twins?

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Disney obviously wasn’t going to break the bank and use the revolutionary Parent Trap technology to put two versions of one actress in the same scene. And finding identical twin actresses wouldn’t have been easy.

But c’mon.

Now that that mini-rant is out of the way, let’s talk hoops.

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Introducing the Witty Weather Pun Film Series

When you’re thinking critically about film


The less said about our present situation the better. Apparently medical professionals haven’t thought to reach out to Breanna Stewart because I can’t be the only one who thinks Stewie could develop a vaccine for COVID-19 if she put her mind to it.

The WNBA is still holding its draft despite the ongoing pandemic and has yet to make any decisions about the 2020 season. The league faces fewer logistical hurdles by virtue of its smaller size, but if we’re being honest, it’s hard to envision how we get to see the WNBA this summer.

In an effort to continue generating #content and provide an entertaining diversion, I will examine basketball movies. And by “basketball movies,” we’re talking a film that features basketball in any form. Should this pandemic go on long enough, I will absolutely consider Catwoman to be a basketball movie.

Reach out on Twitter (@JosephZucker) or in the comments with any suggestions.

Taking Stock of the Seattle Storm’s Offseason

Stewie Phone
When you’re watching the rest of the WNBA offseason unfold

While the WNBA offseason is far from over, the biggest dominoes appear to have fallen ahead of the draft in April.

Once again, the Storm have opted for a more subdued approach, an understandable strategy with Breanna Stewart and Sue Bird back from season-ending injuries. In addition, Seattle had few roster spots available, with Courtney Paris, Blake Dietrick and Shavonte Zellous the team’s only free agents.

Let’s take a look at what has happened so far and what general manager Alisha Valavanis might still have up her sleeve.


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The Morning After: A Nice Victory

Alysha Clark Jazz HandsThe Seattle Storm somehow held on to a 69-66 win over the Las Vegas Aces on Friday night.

Seattle won despite shooting just 27.8 percent from the floor, though the team owned a 12-point advantage in three-point shooting. The Storm also forced 21 turnovers, which generated 22 points. Their 18 steals were a franchise record.

Natasha Howard was the game’s leading scorer (21 points), while Sami Whitcomb rode a hot first quarter to a 14-point outing.

Liz Cambage posted a double-double (16 points, 14 rebounds) for the Aces. Kelsey Plum didn’t enjoy her return to Hec Edmundson Pavilion, shooting 3-of-11 for 10 points.

With Friday’s victory, the Storm (12-8) move up to fourth in the WNBA standings.


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The Morning After: Whew!

Sami InterviewThe Seattle Storm nearly threw away a 21-point lead Wednesday night against the Minnesota Lynx before holding on for a 90-79 victory.

Seattle fended off Minnesota’s late charge, scoring 10 unanswered points in the final three minutes to earn its 11th win and move to fourth in the WNBA standings.

Natasha Howard had a career-high 33 points and was one of four Storm starters to score in double figures. Sami Whitcomb shot 5-of-11 from beyond the arc en route to a 15-point night and added eight assists.

Lexie Brown was a big reason for the Lynx’s second-half turnaround as she scored a team-high 20 points. But Odyssey Sims and Napheesa Collier were a combined 5-of-23 for 13 points.


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The Morning After: Yikes!

Dan Hughes EjectedThe Seattle Storm slipped to .500 (8-8) following a 77-66 defeat to the Atlanta Dream at home Friday night.

Little went right for Seattle offensively until the fourth quarter. The Storm opened the game on an 11-0 run yet finished with just 24 first-half points. They shot 36.4 percent from the field and 7-of-27 from beyond the arc for the game.

Natasha Howard had a team-high 20 points but got little from the supporting cast. Jordin Canada (15 points) and Alysha Clark (12 points) were the only other Storm players to score in double figures. Nobody else had more than six points.

Tiffany Hayes led all scorers with 21 points and Elizabeth Williams nearly had a double-double (10 points, nine rebounds). The Dream improved what remains the WNBA’s worst field-goal percentage (.374) by making 42 percent of their shots.


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